Bush Team Hoping To Stage New 9/11-Style Attack Before Next Election

WASHINGTON---Sources inside of the Bush administration say that the current leader of the United States, Vice President Dick Cheney, is working furiously with a team of select advisors to plan and carry out the next 9/11-style attack on our country before the elections in November. A member of that team ,James Noir, who asked that he be referred to in this article only as Mr.X to maintain his anonymity, told this reporter that his group hoped to complete the work on the staged attack by no later than October 1^st.

He stated, "Well that's our ideal target date but with so many details to pull together we may not be able to get it done until late October...I mean we've got to find the right kind of airliner, the best nuclear reactor to crash it into, we have to pay off corporations not involved and distract Congress while it's going on, we have to plant enough bogus evidence to pin it on Iran...there are so many things to take care of and we only have about eight more months to do it in."

He continued, "Plus, in the unlikely event that it fails, we have to have contingency plans in place...we have to arrange to kill all the people involved in carrying out the plan so they can't rat us out, we have to find a patsy to pin the assassination of Obama on. I mean, we have a really full plate."

When asked why the staged attack had to be carried out so soon, Mr. X/James Noir said, "Well you have to remember that we've got to do something big to justify suspending the elections and imposing martial law. You just can't eliminate the Constitution and Bill of Rights on a whim, not matter how much you want to. You need to have a good reason, even if its a fabricated one"

When asked what would happen if the staged attack fails, X/Noir said, "That's no problem ‘cause even if the plane crashes into a nearby mall or something, that's still pretty dramatic and that should hand the election to McCain if we can't get them [the elections] called off in time to keep Bush in office." He concluded, "And since Johnny [Senator McCain] came aboard, it doesn't really matter if the attack is successful as the one we stage on the Twin Towers because once we eliminate Obama, nobody's gonna' voter for Clinton."

In a related story, a Congressional report due to be released on Monday is reported to say that security at the nation's airports and nuclear power stations is still considered to be substandard and vulnerable to terrorist attacks and that a 9/11-style attack on a nuclear facility could occur by as early as October if these security shortcomings are not addresses immediately.