WASHINGTON---Just days after picking up major labor union endorsements, Democratic Presidential Nomination contender and Illinois Senator Barack Obama received three more major endorsements this week. Considered a serious blow to the campaign of Senator Hillary Clinton, the endorsements follow Obama's primary win in Wisconsin marking ten consecutive primary victories for him in a row. The newest endorsements all came on the same day within 2-hours of each other. The organizations to endorse the Senator include the powerful American Association Of Retired Persons, the well-known organization People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and The International Strippers and Adult Performers Union. While PETA is well known, well funded, fairly influential and reportedly has several hundred thousand members, it pales in comparison to the millions of retirees who are members of the AARP and the influence that the organization wields over policy makers in Washington. However, both of these organizations combined may not have the influence and reach of less-well known International Strippers and Adult Performers Union in this election. Since the advent of the internet and the easy access to pornography that I brings to the consumer, The International Strippers and Adult Performers Union finds it's constituency of chronic masturbators has grown to billions of members worldwide. Craig Lister, a researcher at the American Institute For Masturbatory Studies explained the growth of this demographic group when he told reporters, "Well as the economic situation in this country continues to crumble, the average person has less money to spend on entertainment and going out." He continued, "Facing that situation, your typical person would probably stay home and amuse themselves...well... the cheap way." Mr. Lister also stated, "And to do that sort of thing you need the kind of porn that is made by The International Strippers and Adult Performers Union." He concluded by saying, "If that union tells it's constituents ‘vote for Obama or we're cutting off the porn supply,' you can bet your ass that Hillary Clinton's going to be in deep doo-doo." All was not doom and gloom, however, for the Clinton campaign as later the same day, The Senator form New York received the endorsement of The Union of Concerned Hermaphrodites With Toe Nail Fungus and also an endorsement from The Association of Gay& Bi-Sexual Seat-less Unicycle Enthusiasts of Northern Ontario.
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